Voice of Opposition Lip-biting spunk-shooting shit-smothered animalistic anti-rants and free-association non-linear thought trashcan.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Some Thoughts............
The expression, "all things considered," as in the following sentence, "All things considered, my cats are very well behaved;" is an extremely arrogant turn of phrase. It communicates to the listener that the user of this term is god-like in omniscience; able to casually consider ALL THINGS.
When I walk into Quiznos for my Turkey Bacon Guacamole sandwich, I dont want to see the lady making it on the other side of the glass weigh my meat on a small foodservice scale. I used to make pizza for Domino's as a teenager, and I understand that certain guidlines exist concerning food portions and appropriate distribution of ingredients. However, when was the last time any of us had a pizza delivered and as soon as the box is opened, the first thought we have is that the actual number of sausage and pepperoni units is doled according to corporate guidlines? This is quite an unpleasant thought to have. So unpleasant in fact that it would drive me to lose my appetite. The effect is similar when I order an oven-toasted sub from Quizno's.
Nothing is more refreshing than finding an interesting person to speak with.
The Scotsman that goes to my gym has an hilarious work-out ensemble.
If you work in a bar--even a gay bar where most of your co-workers have a college degree--and write the word "Magnanimity" on a dry-erase board, you will have mystified the entire staff.
Florid writing is repugnant.
Cats are more jealous of books than any other thing.
I think I like to sweep the carpet so much and so often because it reminds me of mowing the lawn for my parents. In a way, I am regressing every time I clean. This proves that you dont have to grow up to learn responsibility.
NOTE: ALL ENTRIES MADE HEREIN COPYRIGHT MARK MILLS...ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Quotes
"Though they won't admit it, women were much happier when all they had to do was bake shit and pump out kids."--AMERICA (THE BOOK, pp. 127
"We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do."--W aide in interview with Ron Suskind of the New York Times
"I dont know why they call it Hamburger Helper, it works just fine on its own!"--National Lampoon's Family Vacation
"Welcome to Kyoto: The Anagram-Lover's Tokyo"--Futurama
"Senator John Kerry courted his Southern audience by saying, 'I am one of you.' Candidate Dennis Kucinich did the same when speaking before the League of Pacifist Vegan Dwarves."--The Daily Show
About Mark
Mark is an art student born the same year of Elvis Presley's death. His
mother is a nurse, his father is an automobile manufacturer. He is the
first of six children. According to his grandmother's extensive geneological
investigations, Mark is the progeny of Irish horse-theives and French noblemen.
Moreover, Mark has twice been honored by the United States government as
"National Symbol of the Spirit of the Renaissance" and was knighted at the age of 13
by Her Majesty the Queen of England for exceptional performance in the service
of spectacular duty. Mentioned twice in Ronald Reagan's famous memoir, I Remember
Quite Clearly, Mark is thought by Washington insiders to be indirectly
responsible for the collapse of the Soviet Empire.
Being an avid chess player, Mark is known for his strategic skill, patient planning,
and devestating attacks both on and off the board. Besides chess, Mark's hobbies include
international diplomacy, weight lifting, writing, reading, and megalomaniacal bullshitting.
You can often find Mark either at Galway or Callahan's pub enjoying a Guinness or eight.
Currently Mark spends his winters in the Bahamas and his summers in London.
